I've turned a complete 180* about in my feelings regarding the pandemic lockdown. At the time, I was all for it. I mean "what else were we supposed to do?" But since everything got back to "normal", I'm seeing the mental health affect on kids. I've watched juvenile crime go from minor school fights and kids caught smoking weed behind C-Building to full on 1st Degree Murder (committed by 14 and 15 year-olds). I prosecuted juveniles for 10 years and NEVER saw violent gun crime, now it's rare that I get a case where a firearm isn't involved somehow (even if it's just mere possession).
But on a more personal note, 4 of my kids friends (at separate times/different families) were committed for suicide attempts towards the end of lockdown. I thought our family was immune. I was wrong. My oldest child made two attempts and we also found ourselves having to get him committed and stabilized. It was a perfect storm for him. Beginning of his Junior year he blew out his ACL so he couldn't play any sports. Now he wasn't going to be "going pro" in any sport, but he was good at what he played (and as a family we enjoyed watching him play). So, no sports his junior year and his senior year was on lockdown. He was cleared to play sports just in time for all sports to be canceled. So for his senior year he missed everything. Senior night. Senior Prom. His poster on the gym wall with the other Senior athletes. The camaraderie. In the middle of his Senior year my Dad passed quite suddenly from pancreatic cancer. 8 months later, my father-in-law died. That's a rough couple of years for any teen, but it was the lockdown/isolation that was the worst of it. My son is a social kid and that isolation damn near killed him... literally.
We were so WRONG to isolate these kids like that. It only took about a month before my wife and I saw what the isolation was doing, so we let our kids have friends over pretty much anytime/all the time. Several mornings I left for work and a couple of friends were at the house doing "virtual school" with our kids. Any given weekend there were 2-5 kids crashing on the couches in the basement. My boys started (and still have ) regular "poker" nights. I honestly believe that keeping our home "open" like that was the single thread that kept my son from the ultimate self-harm.
Sometimes the "right" thing to do isn't the "best" thing to do...
But on a more personal note, 4 of my kids friends (at separate times/different families) were committed for suicide attempts towards the end of lockdown. I thought our family was immune. I was wrong. My oldest child made two attempts and we also found ourselves having to get him committed and stabilized. It was a perfect storm for him. Beginning of his Junior year he blew out his ACL so he couldn't play any sports. Now he wasn't going to be "going pro" in any sport, but he was good at what he played (and as a family we enjoyed watching him play). So, no sports his junior year and his senior year was on lockdown. He was cleared to play sports just in time for all sports to be canceled. So for his senior year he missed everything. Senior night. Senior Prom. His poster on the gym wall with the other Senior athletes. The camaraderie. In the middle of his Senior year my Dad passed quite suddenly from pancreatic cancer. 8 months later, my father-in-law died. That's a rough couple of years for any teen, but it was the lockdown/isolation that was the worst of it. My son is a social kid and that isolation damn near killed him... literally.
We were so WRONG to isolate these kids like that. It only took about a month before my wife and I saw what the isolation was doing, so we let our kids have friends over pretty much anytime/all the time. Several mornings I left for work and a couple of friends were at the house doing "virtual school" with our kids. Any given weekend there were 2-5 kids crashing on the couches in the basement. My boys started (and still have ) regular "poker" nights. I honestly believe that keeping our home "open" like that was the single thread that kept my son from the ultimate self-harm.
Sometimes the "right" thing to do isn't the "best" thing to do...
