Funny / Satire

[samplenhold]

Wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with keyboards. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced during church services:

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge... Up Yours'

 

[Ssayer]

 

[Ssayer]

 

[Ssayer]

 

[Ssayer]

 

[rolibr24]

These same people wanting to raise the minimum wage for what should be first-time jobs then will see their very own jobs disappear due to the costs. We are already seeing that with self-checkouts, kiosk ordering at restaurants, etc.

Saw this for Ohio, but I suspect it is comparable in other states, but they estimate 500,000 jobs will be lost due to automation in their state.

Fast food companies are looking at robots instead of servers. Robot cost $1,000/month to lease. A worker making $15/hr means if they were to work more than 65 hours in a month, it is cheaper to lease a robot...

View attachment 128425

Robots are the best employees we have. We installed 6 of them almost 4 years ago, they never get grumpy, never ask for a raise, never drive off at break time never to be seen again.
We are installing 4 more this week. We are so done with employees. Lately they’ve been complaining about needing more money etc…. We flat out told them, “well election’s mater, we can’t raise wages because it would be unsustainable for us.” (We are a farm, we don’t have the luxury of passing on our costs to the end user.)

We are working on automating everything we can. I’m Ok with that, just job security for me. I enjoy fixing them when they get ”sick”, or if it’s their time of the month and they get bitchy.

 

[samplenhold]

 

[samplenhold]

 

[Ssayer]

 

[wittaj]

 

[mat200]

 

[Doxdsgn]

 

[Ssayer]

 

[Ssayer]

 

[samplenhold]

 

[Smilingreen]

 

[Smilingreen]

 

[Smilingreen]

 

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[Smilingreen]