I too am pretty agnostic as far as brands of both software and hardware. I am using Exacq because in my situation it was the only software that mat my needs at all and they had a very wide base of cameras. I'm never going to say it's the absolute best as everyone's needs are different. I will say that I like it quite a bit, at this point I have been using it HEAVILY for coming up on three years and been very pleased.
Remote viewing and capture is literally all I do, my DVRs are over five states and all recording locally so I have to pull footage like you will be doing. The only "bad" part can be you are usually limited by whatever your upload speed is where the DVR is at. If you would be using the software headless on a NUC I would imagine your processor usage would be under 5%. Most of my DVRs are i3's and with the client closed they use between 1-3% and that is while I'm in there checking on them through a VNC connection!
The biggest difference would be in motion detection features, Exacq will use the hardware detection in the camera while BI is totally software based. That is why BI uses so much CPU, in Exacq the camera is doing all the work. Some cameras motion detection are better than others, I greatly prefer Hikvision motion detection to ACTI, Axis, Vivotek and others. All IP cameras should work like the Hiks. The last time I tried Dahua they were not actually supported at all by Exacq so I was only getting non stop recording. If that is what you want then no issue, but I record on motion only so I did not end up using them Now that I have 200 Hiks I'll just stick with them so my life is slightly easier lol. I believe motion is now supported with Dahua cameras though.
You can get a trial of Exacq that is fully functional and works perfectly on one camera to test out, if you have any issues let me know and I can assist you in getting a trial easy enough. Exacq has features I like, full app support. Apple, Android, and Windows phone and tablet support. Full featured web browser client access, you can control PTZ, search and view video and all from the web client. Searching video is much better in the desktop app I will admit, but it is doable. Desktop client will work in OSX and Windows and even Linux. Not bad for $50 per camera. Quesitons just ask, I'll try and answer whatever you got!
I also have purchased the Exacq IO module for the ones I built so I have real alarm input and outputs on machines even if I built them myself. Controlling gates and alarms and optex motion sensors with them and they are working well too. The gate relays do not like being hit by lightning though....